Adelaide has been on my mind a bit more than usual lately. And it might be because of my new comfort show. Bear with me for a moment here, but it’s The Pitt. Perhaps it seems odd that I would find comfort in an arguably anxiety-inducing medical TV show. I get that. However, there are few places I have felt more comfortable than in a hospital.

I have a tendency to put a bit of pressure on myself. Add in a jam packed weekend, missing two of my son’s performances, and delivering a TEDx talk and you can smell the recipe for disaster through your screen. Thankfully, Alysa Liu entered my life through my television screen and I am now officially in my Alysa Liu era.

Over the last few years, I have seen an increase in memes and posts celebrating cancelled social plans. The problem is that in times like these, when our feelings of helplessness are threatening to overtake us – we need community more than ever… and that requires us to RSVP “yes” and stick to it.

The most common refrain I have heard this week when I’ve asked someone how they are doing is, “Well, all things considered…” Basically, outside of the blatant disregard for the US constitution, the continued detention of innocent adults and children, and the government protecting pedophiles – our personal lives are ok. But the longer this goes on, the thinner that line becomes.

Just one day earlier I had posted an essay titled, “We are not helpless”, and here I was forcing my way through Saturday feeling more helpless than ever. That evening, I was messaging with my dear friend and former teacher Mr. Peterson, (who you may remember from Normal Broken or The Luckiest). I told him, “This is a living nightmare. Everything. All of it. I can’t.” His reply was everything I needed to hear and more.

I do not subscribe to silver linings, bright sides, or any other mask for toxic positivity. This week though, I surprised myself by not only finding but craving the good in the bad. It started when I was doomscrolling Instagram and came across screenshots of reporter Margaret Killjoy’s Bluesky social posts.

After letting go of my dream of The Luckiest making the USA Today bestseller it finally happened this week. I am thrilled but also, was it the letting go that made it happen? Or was something larger at play… and how could that lesson helps us navigate the days, weeks, and months ahead as our country reaches a boiling point.

Perhaps the most challenging part of living in a time like this, where news alerts are sent to our phones within moments of their occurring, is that we still must live our regular lives. I am still scheduling doctor appointments, making dinner, and reading bedtime stories. I am watching TV shows, scrolling social media, and doing the daily wordle. While people are being shot and bombs are being dropped, my life remains relatively unchanged, and it is disorienting AF.

I am not just limping into the end of 2025, I am flat on my belly, army crawling through the year’s remaining hurdles, one breaking news alert away from a mental break. This is not a cry for help, so please don’t worry about me. I’m naturally dramatic, and also joking… kind of. But also, what is going on right now?

I woke up this morning, realized it was Friday and that I hadn’t written this week’s blog. This has only happened a couple times in the eight years (!!!).

It’s gratitude season. A season that I have resisted in years past because, admittedly, I haven’t always felt very grateful when the calendar has mandated it of me. But this year is different. This year I am bursting with gratitude, and I’m choosing to lean into it because I know this feeling is not guaranteed, and I refuse to force it.