Infancy

“I’m coming to NYC for 24hrs for this… recognize anyone?” Wendy’s text read with a link to the Forbes Power Women’s Summit.

“OMG, yes! Congrats on speaking at this event. Also, do you need a handler?” I replied.

I met Wendy Borlabi in Chicago when we both spoke at a much smaller women’s event. We had boys around the same age and she was willing to come to our house for playdates. Since it was difficult to travel with Adelaide this was a huge win for me. Also, Wendy happened to be a confident powerhouse of a woman who was unapologetically herself 100% of the time and she was fun to be around. In a comical twist, she had never seen Hamilton and before coming over to our home for the first time didn’t even know that my husband was, in fact, Hamilton. Which worked out well, because she is the team psychologist for the Chicago Bulls and I don’t think I could name a single player on the team… still can’t.

Since moving from Chicago, I’m always eager for the opportunity to catch up with Wendy – given our hectic schedules that isn’t always easy, so I was excited to do so and at such a star-studded event! Though what I took from the day is probably not what I expected:

1.     I am super glad my book doesn’t come out for another year.

2.     I have a crush on Bobbi Brown.

Let me explain. It has been a hot minute since I attended any sort of networking event. And by hot minute I mean no one knew anything about the ten-dollar founding father, Don Draper was still on TV, and many of us assumed Hillary Clinton would be the next President. Basically, I’ve lived a whole life since then and am an entirely different person. One, I might add, that I’m still getting to know… which I guess is the issue.

Wendy had nailed her speech and we were backstage mingling with other VIP’s when Wendy and her sister Audrey pulled me aside.

“Girl, you have got to figure out how to introduce yourself without mentioning Miguel.” They were not about to cut me any slack. “You are powerful and interesting on your own without him.”

In theory I knew they were right, but I was seriously struggling. Who was I amongst all these successful entrepreneurs and business people? Yes, I’m the board chair of CURE Epilepsy and I have a book coming out next year, but I am only just beginning this next leg of my journey. The bonkers thing is, if I reread that sentence and imagine meeting someone who was the board chair of a non-profit and had written a book I would be impressed by them!

I’m not sure most people would peg me as someone with confidence issues. Honestly, I don’t think of myself that way. Do I suffer from a little imposter syndrome every now and then? Sure, who doesn’t? Ok, my mother doesn’t but she’s the exception to most rules. All I’ve wanted for years was to be my own person beside Miguel… and maybe I’ve dreamed of hearing him introduced as Kelly Cervantes’ husband. Here was a chance to break free from his shadow and instead I was clinging to it as if my proximity held the key to my value.

Which brings me to Bobbi Brown. A beauty mogul who transformed the cosmetics industry as we know it. She sold her company years ago and recently started a new beauty line. During her interview at the summit she had a settled energy about her, a quiet confidence that I imagine has been hard earned. She spoke about starting over and said “I am in the infancy of the rest of my life.”

The infancy of the rest of my life.

I’m not sure I absorbed much of the rest of her interview because I had been bulldozed by that single statement. Here was a legendary woman who was at the literal top of her field and she was saying she was in the infancy of the rest of her life. Yes, she has experienced a lot, accomplished so much, but she still has so much more to go, to learn, to be.

I’ve written extensively about all my various careers (performer, bread-winner, mama bear) and the growing pains as I found my sea legs in each. Perhaps because I’ve been writing and lending my voice to causes for years, I haven’t given myself space to grow into the professional capacity I now occupy. I sort of expected for it all to just come naturally, but these titles as professional jobs are new and I still have so much to learn. To that end, thank goodness I have time to figure all this out before I’m out in front of people and cameras promoting a book!

What I’m beginning to accept is that it’s ok to acknowledge the journey ahead of me. That space for growth isn’t a weakness, it’s an opportunity. After all, I am in the infancy of the rest of my life.

So, I begin by acknowledging my talents and accomplishments. I recognize all that it is that I do and all that I am to the people around me. I recognize how I can help others and how others can help me. Then I walk into the room with confidence and join the conversation as Kelly.

Not as Miguel’s wife.

Not as Adelaide’s mom.

But as Kelly: former performer, bread-winner and mama bear – current author, advocate and an infant in the rest of my life.